I am not evolved.
Actually, maybe I should say that I am not enlightened (I do have two opposable thumbs, after all, so I guess that means I am kind of evolved)…
If you know me, and you’re sitting there reading that sentence, I have a feeling that you’re thinking: ‘Duh.’
It was mayhem at our house the other night. It was Sunday (and if you’re a parent, or a working person, or just a human, we all know what Sunday night feels like, right?)
I had one kid upstairs, blaring the music in the guest room while he was supposed to be downstairs doing the dishes. One kid was in the playroom, crying because she wanted help with her homework. The puppy (a 4.5 month old 70 pound sweet beast) was knocking on the back door asking to be let back inside (and because it was raining, the act of letting her inside is complicated by the need for a complete towel wipe down).
I found myself yelling at the upstairs kid (have I mentioned that I’m a “Parenting Coach”?), trying to comfort the downstairs kid, and running to the back door…..and then I looked over and saw my husband: sitting on the couch – totally relaxed – watching football.
I got pissed.
And (in my head) started a full blown rant: He doesn’t care about my feelings! He thinks that all of this should be my job because he has to go in to the office tomorrow and I work from home! He’s trying to prove a point to me about how we’re too busy to have a puppy! He thinks I have nothing better to do! There may have been a few f-bombs running through that monologue too, if we’re being totally honest here.
I started walking (stomping) toward the back door, and all of a sudden I had a moment – ONE MOMENT – of enlightenment.
I stopped. I took a deep breath. I recognized that all of the stories running through my little brain may have been just the slightest bit made up by me, and not grounded in absolute truth….And I said “Honey, would you mind letting Stella in please? She needs to be wiped down, and as you might have noticed I’m trying to help Gracie with her homework and motivate Landon to get downstairs and do his chores.”
Aaron, looking bewildered, looked around. “Oh….sorry….” And then he got up and wiped the puppy off and let her in.
Now…don’t get me wrong….I’m still annoyed that he can apparently tune out the entire universe when his favorite team is playing (I have GOT to evolve to that level!), but you know what it helped me realize?
He wasn’t making all of those judgments about me….I was doing that all by myself. (Oh, I am so very skilled at that….)
BUT here’s the win: I caught myself. I didn’t let my (untrue) stories put me into a full blown rage. I noticed the stories I was telling myself before I let them ruin my evening, get short with my husband and kids, and get the refreshments out for my pity party.
I may not be totally evolved (or enlightened, or…whatever)….but I am evolv-ING. I am in the act of becoming….and moment to moment, as long as I’m better than the moment before, that’s all I’m really hoping for.
Now….I better go let the puppy in.
If this story sounds familiar to you or anyone in your life, I’d be honored if you’d share it with them!
As a Coach I love to support people on their own journey to a more enlightened life (and to develop clearer forms of communication with themselves and the people they love!!). If you’re interested in learning more, schedule a consultation through my website – I’d be SO happy to talk with you!!