|I always find it ironic, that each week I find myself talking with different clients, about similar themes – What I’ve grown to learn is that even though all of our struggles are unique, they’re also strangely similar…That we are generally more alike, than we are different. That insecurities plague us all, and that no one is immune. That we all have something that is driving us crazy, stressing us out, and making us question ourselves and other people.
Since I’ve been doing a lot of listening this week, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned from my clients…I hope it may help you, too!
Lesson 1: Lower the bar, lower the bar, lower the bar: Why, oh why,do we hold ourselves to nearly unattainable standards? We convince ourselves that our home has to be “guest ready” all the time, or that our kids need organic-vegetarian-GMO-free-homemade meals 3-5 times a day, or that walking for 30 minutes isn’t good enough – we MUST jog for 40 (Yeah…I just got called out on that one today!). This is hard…I get it…but what can you take OFF of your to-do list this week? What can be ‘good enough‘ (which is both good, AND enough) as it is? Where can you lower the bar…and set expectations and goals that you can actually achieve AND feel good about, instead of falling short and beating yourself up over? People please – give yourselves a break from time to time!
Lesson 2: “When people show you who they are, believe them” – Dr. Maya Angelou: This has come up a lot for my clients this week…Your boss is an asshole, your daughter’s best friend’s mom is a gossip, or the co-worker in the next cube over is a legitimate adult-sized bully. So here’s the thing…I love believing the best about people. I also truly believe in the idea that people can change…that I might be a raging maniac this morning, but 7 cups of coffee later I’m sweet as pie. There’s also this other thing that I believe…When we expect people to be different than they are, or to have the same standards, values and ideas as we do, and then they don’t, we are so very disappointed. Instead, let people be who they are, and when they show you that, BELIEVE THEM. I promise – they know best who they are….not you. Try engaging with these people with a healthy dose of curiosity instead of assumption, and acceptance instead of attachment. So your neighbor is a flake? Good to know – now you won’t ask him to feed your dog while you’re gone. He can be a flake, and YOU don’t have to suffer for it! #winning!
Lesson 3: Having boundaries is (almost always, if not always) KIND: When you say “no” to things, your “yes” becomes much more powerful. When you disallow what you don’t want in your life, the things you do allow become so much more valued. When you believe in your own worth, value and opinion, it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks of you. When you teach people how to treat you, you may find that you’re treated much more kindly. When people know what to expect from you, they feel safer around you. Know your values, know what matters, and then make THAT your priority.
So there – that’s it! When I found that most of my conversations this week with clients were centered around these three main topics, I wondered if sharing our thoughts might help you too – If so, awesome! If not, maybe next time!
Go forth and have a fantastic Friday tomorrow, my friends!
Oh – PS: I’m currently accepting new one-on-one clients that want to love their lives more, get better at their jobs, or find jobs they’ll love more…if you know of anyone that needs that kind of space and support, please send ’em my way! Or they can book a consult right here!
PPS: My first LEAD Retreat will be in April (apply here!) – If you know of business leaders or entrepreneurs that want to up their leadership game, have them get in touch with me! I’m SUPER excited about this – I believe better leaders make a better world, and I’m all in!